How to Spoil a Dog 101: A Guide for the Dedicated Dog Mom

Having dogs isn’t just a hobby; it’s a full-time lifestyle. If you're doing it right (which I obviously am), your home should reflect order and discipline. However, let’s be real—my dogs own the place, and I’m just their live-in chef and personal maid. 

If you want to spoil your dog like a pro, here’s how:

**Step 1: Forget Boundaries Exist**  

Dogs need rules, but in my house, rules are mere suggestions. Instead of designated spots, my couch has become a throne for my dogs while I sit on the edge.

**Step 2: Make Mealtime a Five-Star Experience**  

While ordinary dog owners pour kibble, I prepare gourmet meals with chicken and pumpkin puree. Serving the same dish two days in a row? Unthinkable! 

**Step 3: Walks Are for Social Dominance**  

I don’t walk my dogs for exercise; we parade around the neighborhood. They stop at every tree and expect recognition from all passersby. The drama that unfolds with other dogs is entertaining, to say the least.

**Step 4: Sleep Is a Privilege**  

Dog training books suggest dogs have their own sleeping spaces, but my dogs have turned my bed into a furry obstacle course. I wake up clinging to the last few inches of mattress, but their comfort is my priority.

**Final Thoughts**  

Is my home disciplined? Of course! (If you count allowing my dogs to do as they please.) Life is short, and dogs deserve all the love and indulgence they can get. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gourmet dinner to prepare and only three inches of bed space to claim!.